By the end of the 1980s, American poet and novelist Wendell Berry faced peer pressure to give up writing by hand and get a computer, so much so that he published an essay titled “Why I Am Not Going to Buy a Computer.” In it, he laid out strict standards for integrating technology into his work, one being that technology “should not replace or disrupt anything good that already exists, and this includes family and community relationships.” Because Berry’s writing process included his wife in a way that a computer would undermine, he refused to buy a computer.
Berry was largely alone in that decision, and computers became a fact of life and work. Then it was the iPhone; then Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter followed. Now, it is ChatGPT, Grok, and Claude. From desks to pockets, pockets to faux online communities, and faux online communities to artificial companions, each advancement since Berry’s dreaded computer has moved humans further away from each other, violating his rule at every turn. The consequences are measurable.
A 2026 Institute for Family Studies report found that over half of young men feel lonely (55%) and isolated (54%). Fifty-two percent reported feeling unloved and unwanted by others, with 32% “sometimes” and 20% “seldom to never.” Four out of 10 men report having two close friends or fewer, and one in five suffer from depression.
The study detailed a number of contributing factors to this “male loneliness epidemic:”: a staggering 70% of young men reported almost constant social media use, 23% of young men gamble daily, 44% play video games daily, and 42% watch pornography daily. All in all, one in six Americans, men and women, report chronic loneliness and isolation. These numbers make sense. The ease, immediacy, and convenience technologies offer empower never-before-possible independence. Why endure