In 1855, a suffragist named Lucy Stone refused to take her new husband’s last name, a quiet rebellion that modern feminists view as one of the first major blows against the patriarchy. Indeed, in due time, suffragists, Hollywood actresses, female executives, and a huge percentage of third-wave feminists followed her lead and decided that the most important decision they could make immediately upon entering holy matrimony was to declare their individualism.
Today, 14% of all newly married women keep their maiden names (an additional 6% hyphenate the two surnames), according to a 2023 Pew Research study. But researchers also found that those numbers are on an upward trajectory, with 25% of younger married women, ages 18-49, opting to fully retain their maiden names, compared to 9% of those over 50. Meanwhile, 33% of unmarried women said they would never take their husband’s last name if they ever chose to get married.
Turns out that while this decision might help a new wife avoid a post-wedding trip to the local DMV or make it easier for old friends to find her on Facebook, it is no boon for long-term stability. New research from the Institute for Family Studies (IFS) found that couples with different last names divorce at a 50% higher rate and their marriages end 30% earlier on average than those who share the husband’s surname.
Of course, having the same last name is no magic bullet against the possibility of a future divorce, but there is clearly a reason underlying this research finding, and it’s this: A wife’s decision to take a husband’s last name is a strong indicator that she’s all in on the marriage, that she’s willing to “leave” her birth family and her own individual identity behind and “cleave” to her new husband in becoming “one